59 Seconds: Change Your Life in Under a Minute
My dear readers, today i’m off from work and the children on 26 June, 2020. So i will give you my best in a more deep summary than usual.. of the book 59 Seconds: Change Your Life in Under a Minute click here to get it on Amazon
Is it too much ? Or fine with you? What should i do for the future posts. Let me have your comments later on.
Summary of the book 59 seconds to make the right decisions: If you want to know how to be happy, have original ideas, want to give your children the best chances and never regret your decisions, 59 seconds to make the right decisions is for you: it will give you the point of view of science on 10 major chapters of personal development.
How to make the right decision quickly? If you had 59 seconds to make the right decision, how would you do it? Would you be able to do it without regretting anything afterwards?
The search for happiness, the ideal spouse, the job of your dreams is at the heart of personal development.
Discover the techniques in the book 59 seconds to make the right decisions.
Chapter 1: Happiness
We will see in this chapter that positive thinking doesn’t always work, and that the best way to be happy is still to keep a diary, to give proof of kindness and to practice the “gratitude attitude”.
Did you know that happiness influences our success, whether personal or professional?
Happy people like to be in a group, they think more often about others, give willingly, adapt better to conflicts, live longer, have a better job… than unhappy people.
Given all that happiness brings, it is understandable that so many coaches want to teach you how to be happy!
What is happiness?
No doubt, like many people who have been asked the question, you would answer: “having more money”?
Maybe the money from the lottery doesn’t make you happier because the win is due to luck?
This was also tested and one of the studies shows that even the 100 richest people in the world according to Forbes magazine’s ranking were not much happier than the average American.
As long as we have enough to live on, an increase in income will not affect our sense of well-being.
The results showed that 50% of our well-being is genetic, 10% social, but the remaining 40% depends only on us.
Do we become happy by chasing away all negative thoughts?
As Dostoyevsky wrote in his “Winter Notes on Summer Impressions”: “Try to set yourself this task: don’t think about a polar bear and you will see that this cursed animal, you will think about it at every moment”, it doesn’t work. The more we try to avoid negative thoughts, the more they will cling to us.
Learning to keep a diary
1.1 The “gratitude attitude
As we said before, when you live with something, you get used to it.
To break this habit, it is good to note the reasons we have for being happy: our work, our friends, money, the view from the window, a smile…
1.2 Your ideal self
A test carried out on three different groups showed that people who spent a few minutes a day for four days writing down what their ideal life would be like while remaining realistic felt much happier than those who wrote down their traumas or wrote down their schedule.
1.3 Sweet Words
Researchers have asked themselves what does more good for us: giving, receiving, or both?
It turned out that those who wrote sweet little words felt happier than those who received them.
The power of window-shopping
Is the reality consistent with the belief?
They found that if buying consumer goods brought happiness at the time, it soon disappeared, either because the object no longer fit, or because it was no longer fashionable – in short, because we had become accustomed to it.
Experiences such as eating out, travelling, performing… brought much more happiness.
It seems that it was because of our selective memory, which quickly forgets the fatigue of the trip, the price of the ticket… to keep only the emotion of the moment we lived.
Happiness at pencil’s reach
We are very predictable: if we are happy, we smile, if we agree, we nod…
By asking testing people to look at humorous pictures with a pencil in their mouth, those who had to hold it between their teeth (and thus simulate a smile) found them funnier than those who held it between their lips (and thus pout).
If you smile a lot every day (a big smile that lasts between fifteen and thirty seconds), you’ll be happier.
Chapter 2: Persuasion
In this chapter we will see the futility of rewards, how to succeed in a job interview, how to improve our social life by making mistakes, how to stop losing your wallet and how to win a deal thanks to the smile of the creamer.
How to have a successful job interview
Recruiters are persuaded to select candidates according to clear and precise criteria. Chad Higgins and Timothy Judge determined that, in fact, the only thing that really mattered was the sympathy reflected by the candidate: a pleasant candidate was far more likely to be hired than another.
To increase your credibility, tell us about your faults at the beginning of the interview, so you will appear more honest and have a better chance of success.
If, on the other hand, it is a question of highlighting the positive points of your career, do so at the end so that you do not appear pretentious at the beginning of the interview: in this case, be modest!
If you make a mistake during your job interview, don’t stress, there is a good chance the recruiter won’t notice it!
Small services, big blunders and gossiping
Polls in the US have shown that elections are very much about sympathy capital.
The person to whom we owe a small favour will most often be more willing to help us (if the service requested is too big, we might get the opposite effect). Asking for a modest service is therefore a method that helps to build good relationships.
Another way to get loved is to become more human: a person who is too perfect will be less liked than a perfect but clumsy person.
If, on the other hand, you’re ugly, poorly dressed and clumsy, you’ll have to work on improving yourself!
The third and final method presented in this book for gaining sympathy is the art of gossiping: indeed, the answers to the questionnaires showed that the person who speaks is unconsciously given the characters he or she attributes to others. Thus, someone who gossips about a colleague’s disorder will be perceived as disorderly, and someone who speaks well of another colleague’s kindness will himself be perceived as sympathetic.
Why too many cooks “spoil the sauce” and how to fix it
After many experiences, they deduced that when faced with an unforeseen event, our Behaviour was based on that of others. Our fear of making the right decision was therefore based on group Behaviour. Thus, we have a better chance of being rescued in the event of an aggression if there are few spectators than when there are many. We tend to blame others, thinking that if they don’t act, it’s not as bad as it looks, and if it goes wrong, it’s the fault of others.
So, if you are going to be attacked, avoid shouting “help” all the time, but call out to someone with a friendly face, especially describing them and telling them what to do.
How to avoid losing your wallet
After losing his wallet, Richard Wiseman wondered how to recover a lost wallet.
Based on the work of Harvey Horstein, he bought 240 wallets that he “lost” in various locations.
In these wallets, he left a prominent photo: a dog, a child, a baby, a woman…
These wallets were also filled with raffle tickets, discount coupons, membership cards…
After a week, 52% of the portfolios had been returned. Only 6% of these wallets did not contain personal documents and 32% of them contained a baby’s photo, probably because the baby awakens in us an instinct of nursery, protection?
So put a picture of baby and your address in your wallet if you want it back if you lose it!
Chapter 3: Motivation
In this section we will look at the black spots of visualization and how to achieve one’s goals by developing a perfect plan, overcoming procrastination and applying “double thinking. »
Have you noticed that many personal development gurus advise you to visualize yourself as successful in order to achieve your goals?
Have you ever wondered what the results of real life tests have been like?
It doesn’t work.
In the case of weight loss, for example, after one year, women who had used positive visualization had lost 12 kilos less than those with negative fantasies.
Your battle plan
To be successful, you need to know where you’re going and know the steps to success by breaking down the overall goal into smaller, more easily visualized objectives.
Another way to move forward is to share one’s goals with friends and colleagues…
Those who visualize the benefits of achieving their goal also succeed more easily than those who despair at the thought of failure.
You should also congratulate yourself every step of the way.
Don’t forget either that words fly away and writings stay: commit yourself in writing (as I did in the presentation of my blog): writing or drawing multiplies the chances of success.
We saw that sitting down and visualizing our goal was not very effective.
Other experiences, however, show that we can use these methods to our advantage.
If we assume that if we are realistic about the pitfalls on our path, then visualization should work.
Those who visualized their advantage and the great obstacle that could come their way in order to consider ways to keep moving forward, and so on, achieved their goals more often.
At some point, most of them will go on a diet.
Many fail for lack of motivation.
Protocols have shown that the amount of food we eat is unconsciously determined by our plate: is it finished or not?
For example, people who unknowingly ate from a bottomless bowl ate 75% more soup than others and were still hungry at the end of their meal, and if you have large plates and spoons, again, you will eat more than if your plate and cutlery are smaller.
As for drinks, there is a tendency to pour more alcohol into a wide glass than into a narrow one.
Another major point is concentration: you eat much more when you talk, watch TV, listen to the radio, do crosswords… while eating.
You can also keep a food diary: by becoming aware of what you eat, you will more easily overcome your addiction.
Chapter 4: Creativity
Myths and legends of brainstorming.
It was in the early 1940s that advertising executive Alex Osborn came up with the idea of brainstorming.
This technique was widely used, but tests showed that in most cases people had more creative ideas when they thought alone than when they thought in groups.
Scientists have deduced that when working in a group, failure or success was not the fault of the individual, but of the group, which made us give less effort: after all, if it fails, it’s not my fault and I don’t see why I would work for my neighbours.
Listen to the quiet man
Imagine putting two people together, one being self-confident and unoriginal and the other shy and creative. The self-confident one will obviously take over and the shy one will express little, if anything at all.
The self-confident person represents your conscious mind, the other your unconscious mind.
To silence the conscious man, Dali would fall asleep with a spoon in his hand: as soon as he fell asleep, the spoon would fall and wake him up, and that’s when he would start painting.
Another way to divert your consciousness is to exercise for a short time.
The call of nature
Nature is full of teachings: It is known that patients in hospitals heal better and faster if they have a view of nature through their bedroom window.
The presence of green flowers and plants in the offices increased the creativity of the male employees by 15%. In the case of women, they found more flexible solutions to their problems.
Posters depicting nature, however, are useless. If you can’t bring a piece of nature into your home, get out to the park!
Chapter 5: Seduction
There’s no need to be wanted. The art of seduction involves a simple physical contact and a sharing of personal events.
For many, the desire felt depended on the number of cookies in the box. Thus, what was rare tasted better.
The best food tasted worse when you were not hungry than when you were hungry.
Similarly in seduction, you have to show your partner that you’ve been selective, that you don’t give your love to everyone.
The power of touch
To show the seductive power of a strong bosom, the first one in a disco, the second one in the street, the lady hitchhiking.
As the experiment progressed, the young lady increased the padding in her bra, which showed that women with large breasts attracted more men than women with small breasts.
For the women, it did not matter whether the hitchhiker had large breasts or not.
He was also interested in the power of touch in seduction. He obtained the following results: while 43% of the women at the club accepted the invitation to dance without touching, 67% accepted when the young man touched their arm during the request.
As well, they were much more likely to leave their phone number when approached on the street and touched than when they were not touched.
In the subconscious, the man who touches seems to be more dominant than the person being touched, so most women will give more attention to a man who touches them than to a man who keeps his distance.
The Art of Speed Dating
Start by asking a more original question such as: “and if you were a pizza topping, what would you be? »
Also use the mirror effect. Without going into parody, show your partner that you are on the same wavelength by taking the same stature, hand position… as him/her.
A third important point is to be selective.
Don’t be too perfect: men with good looks and a well-stocked bank account, perhaps because they looked less loyal, were less attractive to wome
How to Make a Successful Date
Let’s say you managed to get the date of your life. Where are you going to take your conquest the first time?
People who talk about personal things create a strong bond more easily than those who talk about quartz watches or plastic trees.
For your first date, choose a place that gives you chills and engage in conversation on intimate topics. You’ll look weird, but what wouldn’t you do for science?
Chapter 6: Stress
It’s better to overcome your resentment than to throw a tantrum and take comfort from your pet.
The psyche in three main parts: the ça , our impulsive side, the SURMOI which represents morality and the I, the referee. You can think of it as a teenager who wants to do something, a priest who tells you what to do, and an accountant in the middle who tries to reconcile the teenager’s desires with the priest’s morals.
Many psychologists advise you to shout, stomp your foot, bite your pillow… to release the tensions that are weighing on you.
It has been observed that this kind of technique does not relieve and that, on the contrary, it only increases tension.
Looking for benefits
Managing your anger by putting on boxing gloves reinforces your aggressiveness, while focusing on the benefits of events that might at first glance be perceived as negative, such as burning down your house, calms, relaxes, relieves.
It was noticed that patients who had just had a heart attack and owned dogs were much more likely to be alive one year later than others: with their dogs, both their blood pressure and heart rate were lower and the results were even better than with the drugs usually prescribed for high blood pressure!
A compensation can be made by an animal show: seeing images of animals also relaxes.
Lower your blood pressure by doing nothing.
For 59 seconds to make the right decisions, Richard Wiseman had a fun experience: he invited his students to spend an evening at the bistro with him and at his own expense. While they all had symptoms of advanced drunkenness, he explained that only half of them had been drinking, the waiters were instructed to serve alcoholic beverages only to those with red badges and not to those with blue badges.
However, blue and red had the same test results until he told them the truth.
In 60% to 90% of cases, the effect of treatment depends on the placebo effect.
Chapter 7: Couples
The dangers of active listening, the power of words and a picture to make a difference.
Have you ever heard it said that one of the secrets of a lasting relationship was active listening?
The effects of active listening were few and did not tell if a couple was happy or not.
Couples that last generally follow the same pattern: the woman complains, proposes solutions and if her partner is able to be open enough to make one of these choices, then the couple has a good chance of lasting.
The issue of intimacy
James Laird had noticed that people who love each other often look into each other’s eyes.
He wondered if the opposite effect was also true.
If couples jumped jumps together, they were said to be more in love.
To be happy as a couple, practice a common and stimulating activity!
Five to one: when words triumph over deeds
Modern science has shown that compliments need to outnumber negative comments by about five to one in order for a couple to last.
John Gottman had noticed that a negative remark often tends to trigger an avalanche of negativity as couples feed off each other’s support.
If couples were asked to write down how they felt about each other for three days, then 77% were still together after three months, as opposed to 52% for those who had simply written down what they did each day.
Room with a view
Focusing on one’s great love and sharing objects, photos… in one’s natural environment tends to strengthen the bonds of love.
Chapter 8: Decisions
It’s better to make decisions on your own, and how to make sure you never regret them again.
Do you know how to expose liars?
Do you also ask your colleagues and friends before making an important decision?
Depending on the group, the decision taken may be either more radical or more conservative than the one we would have made alone.
By joining a group that shares our convictions, we will radicalize your opinion by listening to new ideas that go our way.
It should also be noted that a strong personality can also influence an entire group, giving the illusion of unanimity.
If the groups do not provide a solution, what is the best way to make a decision?
The foot in the door and the door in the nose
One experiment showed that while only 40% of customers were willing to buy a cake and two biscuits for 5 euros, 73% rushed to buy a cake for 5 euros plus two “free” biscuits. »
If people accepted a small request first, then chances are they will accept a larger request later.
The “door in the nose” method does exactly the opposite: you start by asking for something big to get to your goal: getting agreement on something less important.
The art of persuasion consists of putting one’s foot in the door, getting the door in one’s nose, disturbing one’s interlocutor with an unusual request and making an overbid with promotional offers
Never regret a decision again
How do you make your choices?
Do you weigh the pros and cons, or do you go by instinct?
It turns out that by entertaining the conscious EGO after our conscious EGO had become aware of what was at stake in the decision, the unconscious mind was able to make a decision that was mostly more balanced: whether it was about choosing an apartment, buying a car or investing in the stock market, those who focus on brain activity end up making a better decision than others.
As you know, the consequences of your actions make it easier for you to measure mistakes, which you cannot do with something you have never done.
It is better to have remorse than regret.
How do you know if you’re being told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth…
How do you recognize a liar?
Is it by his sweaty hands, the fact that he tries to look away, that he doesn’t move, that he blushes?
To find out if you are being lied to, do as scientists do and start by establishing an “honesty line” by asking simple questions to find out how the person you are talking to behaves when they are telling the truth.
If you are in doubt, there was a tendency to lie more easily when speaking than when writing, probably because the words fly away and the written word stays?
So ask the person you’re talking to to to send you an email.
Chapter 9: Children
Children – how to make the right choice
Psychologist Glenn Schellenberg believes that children who study music perform better on IQ tests because music helps them with self-discipline and thinking by forcing them to concentrate, memorize, and practice for continuous improvement.
Choosing a name
Did you know that the name we bear can have an amazing impact on our lives?
People whose last name begins with A or B feel they are more successful than others.
[Personal note: I still remember at school, when teachers would ask us questions: most often they would start with the letter A, so I, whose name started with the letter L, would go through the questions more often, which tends to encourage procrastination].
Research has also shown that people with a positive-sounding first name scored higher than those whose first name evoked a defect, a problem… which could develop an inferiority complex in the latter.
Some personal development coaches will advise you to systematically congratulate your children to give them confidence.
The children who were the most motivated and sought to improve were the children who were complimented not for their results, but for their efforts.
In fact, it turns out that of the three groups (children complimented for their intelligence, those complimented for their efforts, and those who had not been complimented at all), those who had been complimented for their intelligence were the ones who dropped out the fastest and had the lowest results in the last exercises, on the same level as the first ones that everyone had done well.
The art of self-discipline
What worked best to prevent children from doing something: should they be threatened or simply asked not to do it?
For the child, the more you try to forbid something, the more he will infer that he VERY wanted to do what you wanted to forbid him to do.
Other psychologists assume that the toy appeared to the child as the forbidden fruit and that unconsciously he likes to brave the prohibitions.
Chapter 10: Personality
Does graphology work? Learn to identify the personality of your interviewer by the length of his fingers, his pet and the time he goes to bed.
Researcher Geoffrey Dean has compared the results of handwriting studies done during job interviews with job evaluations done during the probationary period of new employees.
It turned out that the handwriting experts were wrong.
Contrary to what they say, studies of handwriting show that handwriting is unreliable and should not be used to predict employee performance.
The Rule of Five
It is commonly accepted today that we can classify our different personalities according to a “rule of five” also represented by the acronym:
“OCEAN””CANOE” for “open-minded,” “conscientious,” “extroverted,” “caring,” and “neurotic.”
The open-minded person will tend to seek out new experiences. They tend to get bored quickly and are able to assess a problem from different angles. He likes new ideas.
Those who score low in this area are more down-to-earth and dislike change.
The conscientious person is organised, plans ahead, reliable and hard-working. He makes a good employee.
Those who score low in this area find it harder to motivate and concentrate, but will be better able to adapt to circumstances.
The extrovert needs to be stimulated by others. He will prefer to lead rather than take orders.
Conversely, those who score low in this area are more cautious and reserved. They work better when they are not distracted and often have fewer friends than open-minded people.
The caring person is more reliable, selfless, affectionate, and makes friends more easily. Those who score poorly here will be more aggressive, less cooperative and see things from their point of view.
Concerning the last point, the neurotic will be more easily overwhelmed by his negative emotions, he will thus be more jealous and possessive and will have a lower opinion of himself than the one who has a bad score in this area.
Thus, many psychologists believe that the human psyche is less complex than it seems and that we all fit into the five boxes of the OCEAN.
The Casanova Effect
Will you believe that psychologists have had fun calculating the proportion of the number two finger (index finger) divided by the ring finger (number 4 finger) to determine that the male average was 0.98 while the female average was 1?
If you are below 0.98, you will have a higher testosterone level than if you are above 1 ?
Thus, men with D2:D4 less than 1 were able to lift an average of 11 kg more than those with D2:D4 greater than 1 and this would also be true in tests of space conceptualization.
John Manning went so far as to compare the fingers of 54 musicians to find that the D2:D4 ratio in their homes was low.
For famous men, the average index was close to 0.96 and for actors it tended towards 1.01.
To end up the blog post, 59 seconds to make the right decisions is a really excellent book, perhaps the best I’ve read in the field, because it’s simple to read and its advice is often well supported and easy to put into practice, which is why I’m presenting it to you here.
I very much appreciated the little summaries he made at the end of each game: 59 seconds in a row!
Believe me, it’s super refreshing to find new avenues of research that work rather than always doing the same things over and over again with the same results.
If you want to change your life or someone else’s, this is the book to read! click here to get it on Amazon
To be honest, with you i see it’s too long, that it’s better a shorter version and you can get the full blask from reading on your terrace..
That’s me and now let me yours below.